What would you say?

To my 5 year old, I don’t know what to say half the time. She can ask questions at a rate of about 20 per minute. I try not to make up stories to explain things to her. Partially this is because I am not creative enough. I also don’t have a good enough memory to keep up with what I may have said before. Mostly, I have learned that there are always follow up questions.

Sure, it seems easy to tell your child not to talk to strangers. Does this look familiar to anyone else?

Mommy – You should not talk to strangers.

Child – Do you mean all strangers? What if the lady ringing up the groceries says hi to you?

Mommy – OK, you don’t want to be rude. [So here come more rules] You can talk to people if you are with an adult.

Child – Why can’t I talk to all strangers?

Mommy – Because not all people are nice and Mommy doesn’t always know who the bad people are.

Child – Why are some people bad?

Mommy – That is a great question. I don’t really know. [I honestly thought the conversation would end here.]

Child – Does the devil make them bad?

Mommy – [This looks like a good out, I’m going for it.] Yes, the devil makes people bad.

Child – What does the devil look like? Where does he live? Why does God let the Devil make people bad…

…20 minutes later…

Mommy – [mind is numb] Yes, the flowers and the dirt keep the devil in hell.

What? Where did that come from? I have no clue. She beat me down and we finally arrived at wherever we were driving.

Other questions have come up too that seem like they could have simple answers. Trust me, there is no simple answer. If someone thinks I am wrong, I will happily have her call you so that you can explain:

1. How much candy can you eat until your belly explodes?
2. Where does the baby come out?
3. How does the plane stay in the air?
4. Why is your hair brown?

If you can keep your talk to less than 5 minutes, I need lessons!

Conversly, to my 1 year old, I have no problem coming up with something to say. It is usually short, to the point, and at an elevated noise level. In the not too distant past I said all of the following in the same day:

Don’t play in the toilet!
The dog is not a lollipop!
Don’t put that in your diaper! (I suppose that is better than telling him not to take something out of his diaper.)
Don’t pour sand in your sister’s hair!

Good times!